You sensed I posted this blog, didn’t you? Well, you sensed something and maybe everything!

Hooray you’re an empath

Curse or Blessing?

Being an empath is a double-edged sword. It can be both a curse and a blessing. On one hand, you have the ability to intuit exactly what you need to do to make someone comfortable. On the other, it is easy to lose track of what you need, because you are so accustomed to caring for other’s comfort before caring for your own. You have easy access to information about what is going on with the people around you, but sometimes it is hard to know your own mind.

An Empath Can Be a Real Chameleon

I have this theory that people become an empath as a way to stay safe in their world. If you know what those around you are feeling, then you know how to adjust what you say and do to make them comfortable so that they are safer people to be around, both emotionally and physically. An empath can be a real chameleon, shifting tone of voice, conversation styles, body posture, and choice of tactics and actions to help the people that are around them to feel more at ease.

The problem with this is that they often lose track of what is actually authentic and true for themselves.

Self Care or Self Detriment?

Empaths tend to care take their environment as a way to care take themselves. This is a pretty roundabout way of doing self care. Doing or saying something that will make someone else angry or sad is uncomfortable for an empath, so that they often avoid confrontation in order to avoid feeling other people’s uncomfortable emotions. It is easy for them to lose track of the fact that they themselves are feeling uncomfortable.

I know first hand, because I am an empath. It has been both a gift and has exacted many painful lessons from me. I could never be the healer I am today without having been an empath. When I lay my hands on a person, I can tell almost right away what emotions are lodged in that person’s body, what issues they are dealing with, and sometimes, even what they are thinking. On the other side of the coin, there have been times in my life where I was not true to myself because of the needs and the emotions of others, often greatly to my detriment.

So what are we to do about this quandary?

Essential Practices for Empaths ( Just think about it like caring for yourself is the first step in caring about everyone else. There, did that help?)

  • Develop Your Energy Shield. 

Around your physical body, there is a layer of your etheric energy that is specifically for dealing with your environment. Its shape and health can show how you are with the world at large. People who are empaths often have a “thin skin” in relation to their shield body. When it has holes in it, we are more easily influenced by our environment. Grounding  yourself is key, to establish a stable foundation. Then as you raise your etheric vibration imagine a shell or a shield around your physical body. See is as radiant and complete. You may see it as a particular color. Some people like to see it as white or gold. Decide what color would work well for you, and see it that way. Imagine the shield body as flowing and moving..not static, we are developing a shield here, not armor. It is good for it to be flexible, so you can let in what serves you, and keep out what doesn’t. Snap your fingers to hold it in place. Do this exercise regularly.

  • Centering yourself

Once you have your shield in place, imagine that there is a golden light in the center of your spirit. This is your pure essence. Focus your attention on the spark, being all your senses to bear. Also be aware of your sensations, emotions and thoughts. First try this when you are alone, and then, after a time, practice it around others. See if you can switch your awareness from your environment to your self, and back again. Notice the difference between the two. Please breathe deeply while you do this exercise so that you may draw in more light from the Divine.

  • Don’t Take On Responsibilities That Aren’t Yours

A person can get so used to care taking, that they can feel as though they are supposed to do it. You are not. It is good to be as compassionate as possible without going beyond the limits of what you need to do to maintain your health and sanity. You are responsible up to that line, and not beyond it. If you are an empath, your idea of where the line is might be a bit fuzzy. Once you get to know where the line is, try to stick to it. It will make all your relationships clearer and cleaner.

  • Get Used to Being the Bad Guy

Empaths are often outwardly kind and caring. They usually get the benefit of everyone thinking that they are almost saintly sometimes. It is easy to get attached to being the “nice guy.” It is not easy dealing with people’s negative emotions, but care taking others does not ultimately serve them or you. It does not help them to protect them from their feelings. It keeps them from growing up. Besides, it’s not real. Better to live in reality than a padded reality. Yes, people may get angry or sad at you or with you if you don’t do what they want you to do, but it is important to remember that their feelings are not your feelings, and your well-being is not dependent on their well being.


  • Develop Your Throat Chakra

Sometimes an empath will know what they need to say or do to make good boundaries, but have a hard time following through in expressing it. The throat chakra is the center for the expression of personal truth. Through the opening of the throat chakra, we open ourselves to expressing our true needs and feelings, as well as expressing the creative force as it moves through us. Some good exercises for opening the throat chakra are singing and chanting, sharing your feelings and thoughts with friends, and meditating on the throat chakra. Some healing stones that help with the throat chakra are chrysacolla, turquoise, lapis lazuli, amazonite, and blue lace agate. You can meditate with them, put them in a medicine bag, or wear jewelry (particularly necklaces).

  • Develop Your Root Chakra

The root chakra helps us to deal with being fully in the world. When the root chakra is open, we are fully grounded and present with whatever is coming our way. When it is not open, we can be dis-associative, fearful, and have difficulty staying present with what is going on. Opening and healing the root chakra helps us to release the fears that keep us from our highest manifestation within form. Some exercises that help to open the root chakra are:


Imagine you are sending roots down into the earth from your base.

Imagine you can breathe in and out of you root.

On the inhale, breath in energy from he earth.

On the exhale, release any thing that is within you that does not serve you.


Some healing stones that might be helpful are obsidian, boji stones, hematite, and red jasper.

  • Smudging And Clearing Regularly

Whether you are having difficulty with your empathic abilities or not, it is a good idea to smudge yourself regularly to release other people’s energy and influence from your energy body. Other good clearing methods are showering, bathing and spending time in solitude. Can you feel what others around you are feeling? Are you sensitive to your surroundings? When you lay your hands on someone, do your hands know right where to go to help that person? Perhaps you are an empath. Please understand that clutter in your household and in your personal space is a breeding ground for negative energy. You are sensitive to energy, please clean.

 We as empaths are hard wired to run energy, feel energy and manipulate energy. That means that once we understand how energy works and that we have the power to manipulate it to our benefit, then we can protect ourselves. Communicate more effectively and begin to make the things we want in our lives come in to our lives.

 If you have been have attend ended my psychic circle for any amount of time you have seen auras and experienced working with energy. These exercises are not just parlor games. These exercises are to expand your understanding and your confidence in regards to your own power of using your own natural etheric energy to your benefit. Whether it be for protection, healing or for manifestation, your energy will provide much of what you need once you learn to use it, and not fear it. It is as much a part of you as your arms and legs. 

The human aura extends around the body at around 8 – 10 inches in all directions.

The healthier we are physically and emotionally and mentally the greater that energy extends. The more vibrant your energy the more energy you have to do things with, and less likely it will be that you will be impinged upon by outside influences.

 Those with weak auras are more easily manipulated, and tend to tire more easily in daily activities. From an emotional level a weak aura will generate feelings of being depressed, of being a failure of not being in control of one’s own life. In weakened auras, stresses reveal themselves more quickly. 

What weakens the aura:

Poor Diet

Lack of Exercise

Lack of fresh air

Lack of rest





Emotional Upheaval

Fear and Worry

Guilt and blame

Improper psychic activity ( too much stimulation or no protection)


Things that can effect our aura’s are:

The food we eat, the air we breathe, these things are converted into energy by the cells of the body, the cells give off energy….effecting the aura

The human body also gives off light, sound , thermal energy, electricity, magnetics, heat . Some of these energies are generated within the body and others are received from outside the body.

 For instance:

 The natural interaction between one energy field and another ..kind of like an osmosis between our personal energies and those energy fields around us.

 The energies of Nature are easily absorbed and transformed by the body. Tree Hugging…trips to the ocean….Sun bathing…. The four elements are natural and healing….fire( of the sun) water ( of the ocean) air of a breeze, sand or dirt of the earth

Our human aura absorbs these healing energies easily. Causing a strengthening and a balancing of the body and energy.

 Quick energizers:





Turing up your dial

Remembering good things

Anything that brings you joy

Drinking water or herbal tea


 How to close up shop. ( or to be less empathic)

 Have a sugary thing

Have a cocktail

Have a cigarette

Eat a carb

Wash you hands

Do something physical.

Scratch your head

Tell you cosmic posse that you are done for the day

And that you will return for service at whatever time you want

Signal to the universe that you are done. The signal can be what you want it to be.

Make your energy large and then wall it off.

Know your guides and talk to them.

They will help you.

I Can See Clearly Now, The Funk is Gone.

It seems I give this information out fairly regularly during readings, or in the shop. I offer it gladly, because I think it’s important. It’s part of good psychic hygiene. However, I know, at least for me, when someone tells me things while I am out and about, the likelihood of my remembering them is pretty slim. So, I thought it might be nice to be able to hand folks my card and tell them that this info is all in a blog. So, here is the info…you guessed it, all in a blog.

We shall name it “Simple House Clearing” 

Is there a more complicated house clearing? You betcha. However, today we are sticking to the simple and most widely used versions of house clearings. Wondering what the heck I am talking about? Well, we empathic folk tend to pick up energy. We also put out energy in pretty big ways. Not all of this energy is happy sunshiny, awesome day at a shoe sale with free lunch kind of energy. A fair amount of this energy we pick up or manufacture can be angry or sad or fearful or any other of the non happy variety. Lower vibrational energy can really get you down. It is important to handle it and keep your space vibrating at a high frequency. That way YOU are more likely to vibrate at a high frequency. We all know that high vibrations are what keep up healthy, happy and manifesting good stuff. Hooray for the good stuff.

How should you begin? Well, start by cleaning your house. I mean actually cleaning your house. Negative energy loves clutter. Paper clutter especially. So, get your clutter in check. Sweep your floors. Dust your tchotchkes. Do your laundry. Then we can move on to the energy clearing.

Rattling – Shaking the sugar out of the blues

Rattling shakes up stagnant energy. You can purchase rattles made specifically for clearings. You can make your own from a jar of beans or a box of dog treats or a box of cereal. Rattle all over the place, especially in dark or lonely corners or places that don’t see a lot of activity.


Bells do the same thing as rattling. They do have a higher vibration and will for sure bring out any lower vibratory energy that has collected in a space. Please be aware that bells are a high vibration and lower vibrations will not like it, so be sure to be ready to smudge immediately after ringing.

Crystal or Tibetan Singing Bowls

These bowls can be played in one of two ways: by striking the side of the bowl or by running a mallet continuously around the rim of the bowl. Either will quickly clear lower vibration out of a room. It is always good to spend a few minutes meditating with the bowl to set the intention to move energy before you begin. Play the bowl facing all directions of each room.

Clearing out the energy

Now that you have the energy stirred up, it is time to move it out. Smudging is the number one way to move stagnant energy (please remember that spirits are energy) from a space.

White sage smudge sticks are commonly found in Native American stores or from local metaphysical stores. Yes we have them at Phoenix and Dragon. They are located in the Shaman room. You will also find the rattles and bowls and sweet grass and bells in this area. There are also some great books on smudging and blessing. You develop your own method and practice. It is all about intention, just remember to speak in positives. I would suggest you do this no less than once per month. More if you feel like the energy needs clearing.

Smudging Technique

You will need:

White candle – Your smudge stick is going to go out. I feel like it is much handier and much easier to have a candle to light the sage again, rather than stopping everything and flicking my Bic twenty seven times. Oh and you will need a….

Smudge Stick- That is a bundle of white sage, sometimes with other herbs included.

Something to put the smudge stick out in and also to tap the ashes into. ( some people like to use abalone shells) Use what you have handy that won’t melt or burn. I used an old metal peanut butter lid for years.

Your favorite prayer written out. I use the Lord’s Prayer. You don’t have to pray if that doesn’t fit your belief system. Just write out your intentions so that you can have them handy to read.

You will be starting in the top most corner of your house and you will work down to the lower part of the house. If you have a basement that does not lead to the outside, you might want to have a second person smudging at the same time so that you can meet in the middle. You will need to either crack a window or a door in the last room that you will be smudging. This is where we will move the energy out of the house.

So, you have chosen the first room.

Imagine the room that you are in is a clock. Start at the twelve o’clock position and light the smudge stick. It will smoke thickly. Fan the smoke all over that immediate space and say your prayer and or your intention.

I like to say to say the Lord’s Prayer and then say: I raise the vibration of this room to promote: Love, happiness, peace, harmony, prosperity, joyfulness, laughter and spirituality.

Move clockwise to the one o’clock position. Do the same thing.

Move clockwise around the entire room. If the sage goes out, re-light it with the white candle.

Be sure to fan the smoke all over the room, all the way to the ceiling and in every nook and cranny.

Move to the next room and do the same thing.

Continue through the entire house, ending in the last room. You should finish at the cracked window or door. Say your prayers and or intentions once more in front of the window or door as you fan the smoke out the door or window. Close the window or door.

At this point, I like to either put sea salt down or wipe with lemon juice.

Smudge yourself and everyone in the house.

Smudging moves out the negative energy. You will need to replace that with positive energy.

Follow up smudging by burning sweet grass in every room to bring in positive energy.

And that is that. You should notice a difference in energy and in moods in the house.

Happy Smudging!











Singin’ In the Bathtub/ A simple clearing bath for every BODY.

Hello Duckies…

I’ve decided to switch gears with this blog and actually tell you some trick and tips of how to love yourself through it. I’ve been blogging for years about my own struggles in loving myself. So, I thought it was high time that I start sharing some of the tools that I have put in my own toolbox of love.

One of the first thing that we should talk about it energy. I will imagine that if you are looking at a psychic’s website, you may already know what I mean. Everything has energy. You have energy. I have energy. Plants and animals have energy. Spirits are energy. If you are empathic, you sense this energy easily and sometimes intensely. I’m sure you have walked into a place and suddenly felt like you wanted to get out of there. Maybe you get drained when with a certain person, or find that you get irritated without reason, when in a crowd. There is a simple explanation for it…energy.

If we break this down to a simplified way of thinking, we can imagine our skin. I mean our actual skin. Our skin gets oily, or sweaty or grimy on a day to day basis. The more things we touch, the grimier our skin gets. What do we do when that happens? We take a bath, or a shower.

So, our energy is much the same. It stands out from our body at least 6 inches away. When we talk with people our energies touch. When we are and about, our energy picks up the energy of the places we go. The closer we get and the more intimate the contact with some one else, the more of their energy we collect. Why do we do this? Because we are empathic.

Being an empathic person is simultaneously fabulous and difficult. It is beautiful to be able to sense what a person needs. It helps us be better nurturers and healers and parents and spouses. We instinctively know when someone needs a hug, or a hand or just a shoulder to cry on, and because we are healers, we are ready to offer the needed thing.

So what do we do about cleaning our energy? We take a bath.

What? Not a bath taker…well, make a spray out of the listed ingredients below and spray it on you before you shower.

I will say that I believe baths to be superior over shower when it comes to energy clearing.

Below is my favorite home made bath and procedure that I have using for about 15 years. It never ever fails me what my intention is correctly focused.

This bath is what Give Up the Funk bath salt and bath bomb were modeled after.

I love this bath and I take one personally every Saturday night ( whether I need it or not)

Happy Splashing!

Smooch Out!



My Personal Favorite Clearing Bath and Procedure

( You are gonna want to get everything wet from head to toe )

You will need:

2 Lemons ( lemon oil may be substituted, 4 drops)

1/2 cup of Baking Soda

½ cup of Sea Salt ( fine grind)( because sitting in gravel is no one’s idea of a good time.)

3 drops of sage essential oil or any oil that suits you.

1 tub of wonderfully warm water.


Cut and squeeze lemons into bath water

Add additional ingredients

Light the candle and place where you can see it from the tub. Please be sure that it isn’t in front of a fan or a vent.


Say a prayer of significance 3x ( I say the Lord’s Prayer)

Say a prayer to a significant feminine ( I say the Hail Mary) 3x


Get in the tub.


Call in Archangel Uriel

Ask for assistance in connecting to the Divine.

Say, “Thank you.”


Call in Archangel Michael.

Ask that he cut all cords of connection

Ask that all energy that does not serve your highest good be removed from your energy.

Imagine that he is doing these things. See him in your mind doing these things.

Say, “Thank you.”


Call in Archangel Raphael

Ask that all deficits of energy be refilled.

Ask that love be placed in your heart

Ask to receive any healing that is deemed acceptable by the Divine.

Say, “Thank you.”


Call in Archangel Gabriel

Ask to given any messages that your guides or angels my need to give to you.

Ask Gabriel to touch your language so that you may speak love easily.

Say “Thank you.”

Say beginning prayers 3x each

As you ask for assistance. Imagine that the angels are doing these things. Imagine that you see them. Speak to them if you feel the urge.

All the while, it is important to keep an eye on your candle. Watch the flame. If the flame is long and tall and still, you may be getting some Divine assistance. If the candle is flickering, you are more than likely moving energy away from you. That is the point, to get that non beneficial energy away from yours.

Exit tub. Soak no more than twenty minutes.

The Man in the Moon is a Lady. Why paying attention to the moon is important.

Hello Darlings! I thought I might sit a bit and talk some about working with the moon cycles. It was a rare thing to understand when I first started walking in the world of the woo woo, but once I understood the power of the moon. I learned fast and started working with the energy of the cycles. I saw how it worked and questioned no more.

We all know that the moon controls the ocean tide. Since we are all made mostly of liquid, it stands to reason that we should be affected by the moon, as well. Ladies, you understand that we cycle ( sorry guys ) basically in the same time line with the moon as well. That whole 20 something day thing, you know.

I talk about working within the moon cycles all the time in Psychic Development Circle. Just to keep it simple, I stick with the new and full moon. There is a lot more to know, so I decided to start blogging about these things. Especially since my line of clearing bath products are made during the moon cycle that best supports their intention.
Each phase of the moon brings with it a special energy for that phase of the “lunar cycle”. So, if you learn to understand the energy that each of these cycles brings, you can gain greater connection with these energies, and that connection can help you in any kind of intention work, mental health work, manifestation work, healing work, meditation and really your over all life in general.

I am listing below some research I have done over the years. I am a crazy person when it comes to writing things like this in pretty journals…so I am sharing with you from those pages. Please understand that this is years of research…if I share what you already know someone else has written, I apologize. These are my own gathering from lots of sources through my years. I didn’t make it up. So, I give all the kudos to all the guru’s from which I have gotten this wisdom. Thank you for it. I use it all the time!

So let’s get started:

New Moon: The new moon is a time for laying out your plan. It is time to ask for things. It’s a grand beginning to a great month. Ask for what you would like to see come into your life in this moon cycle. Be specific and be ready to put a little action toward that goal. I have found that this moon cycle is best for personal growth, healing, new projects, new business. It’s also a fabulous time to get and bless new things in your life. New Moon, New beginning.

First Quarter or Waxing Moon: The Waxing moon is best used for attraction, working on inner love, healing for relationships or working on making yourself more attractive or healing yourself in ways that make you a better partner. What you would like to attract or invite into your life is best done in a waxing moon.

Full Moon: This full moon is a great time to get rid of things that no longer serve us. This full moon is like a spotlight that lights up the challenges and issues in our life. I like to see it as a closet light, in this way. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, it is a great time to get rid of the stuff that is clogging up the space where you could be putting some awesome stuff. A full moon is also a good time for creating any kind of protection amulets or blessing medals for protection. You can use this time for releasing old patterns or issues, and open the door for healing by giving energy to positive patterns you’ll put in place. Full moons are also great for divination. If you find that you are a little “stirred up” by a full moon, you may want to examine the challenges you are having in your life. You may be trying to release a pattern that is causing the challenge. Honor your feelings and intuition.

Last Quarter: The Waning moon is a good time to get rid of those things that influence us in a negative way.  Focus on releasing and banning negative emotions, diseases, ailments during this time. This moon cycle is also the prime time for house clearings and clearing bath times, clearing energy from crystals and tools. Please remember that when you remove any energy, you are going to  want to fill the void with a more positive energy. So, it’s a good time to lay out how you are moving forward in a positive way from that point forward. In house clearings, it’s a nice thing to burn a little sweetgrass, diffuse some lavender oil or rose oil.

Dark Moon: The Dark Moon period occurs 3 days prior to the New Moon and it’s the shortest ‘phase’ of the moon. This is the time when you can’t see the moon.  Typically, this is a replenishing time. It’s time to give yourself a break, put some big love back on yourself and recharge your energy. This moon is the reason I created the Big Love bath. It’s time to get in touch with yourself. It’s time to meditate, maybe do some guided visualizations, do some personal divination, get a pedicure, a facial…whatever soothes your spirit or trips the trigger of your inner goddess.

So those are the basics…let’s talk a little about Bonus phases…

Lunar Eclipse: A lunar eclipse happens when the moon passes into the Earth’s shadow. This kind of eclipse doesn’t happen every year. But when it does, it’s cosmic fabulosity at its finest.  It lasts for only a few hours, so you need to make a plan regarding how you will use this energy. A lunar eclipse on a full moon is perfect for all purposes. Plan your activity  to coordinate in time with the passing shadow. When the moon is in full eclipse, treat those few moments as if the moon were in its Dark phase. Personally, I use this phase to be kind to me and honor myself and give myself some appreciation. I do things that make my spirit smile.

Penumbral Lunar Eclipse: This happens when the moon passes into the outer shadow of the earth. This type of eclipse is hard to spot unless the moon is 70% into that shadow. This particular brand of eclipses is more common and generally occurs at least once a year. When you can see it, the lower part of the moon looks a little distorted. During a waning phase for instance, the lower half of the moon will look blurred or smudged. Once again, it’s a special night. This is a good time to do some gratitude work, Honoring and thanking the Divine and honoring the Divine that lives inside of you. It is also a good time to honor how far you have come on your path. Maybe a gratitude celebration for you and all you have acheived and any person or spirit that has helped you get there.

So, my darlings…you see that we have been given the best “taking care of business” calendar free of charge. It never falters and it never needs recharged. I hope this has helped explain the cosmic goodness that hangs over our precious heads every night. I hope you get to know this grand lady and allow that energy to give you a cosmic boost.

Smooch Out!

Pre-Breakfast Epiphanies…or I think this MACA stuff is clearing my mind!

So…this morning,while making my Everyday Girl Smoothie, I had a couple of really wonderful, and for me, life and paradigm shifting epiphanies. They dawned on me as I was waiting for the NutriBullet to do it’s thing. I want to lay them upon you all. I hope they make you think a little. They are churning in my head, so I feel like the crossroads that Astrologer Nancy told me about might just be here. In readings, I have been seeing big decisions for so many people. Big life changing decisions appeared before me regularly. When my readings for others and Nancy’s astrological predictions start to match up, I usually know that it is time to put on a helmet and re-apply my lipstick, because whatever is coming will be coming for me too.

The word “crossroad” is a scary little effer.  We immediatly worry that it will be a relationship issue or a work issue. I mean, that is what we all worry most about, right? We can’t lose our love or our money. That’s some hard living and recovery, and no nobody wants any of that business. The “crossroad” was supposed to hit mid month, and here we are smack dab in the middle. I’ve been looking around and over my shoulder just waiting for a shoe to drop…and squarely on my head. So far, no shoe….until the motor of my smoothie master lulled me into a kind of morning, sleepy eyed trance that allowed my brain to go into places that it rarely gets to these days.

My first epiphany came from a text that I shared with my partner, Sondra.

Sondra knows my love of all things glamorous. She also knows I am addicted to drag queens. Not all drag queens….just the really incredible ones who are true quick witted, fashion loving, lash batting, wig wearing fountains of fabulously.

In the text we joked about my drag queen obsession and how it doesn’t really fit with my job or the fact that I am a lesbian. When I told another friend about the conversation, he said, “You love drag queens because you are a drag queen!”

I laughed at that, but it was a laugh and a brow scrunch.  I am not a drag queen. I am a feminine woman. I love glamour.

So I was thinking about that this morning, and here is the epiphany:

Women of the fifties and sixties were so so glamorous. Wigs, Lashes, makeup, heels and dresses were an everyday thing in most women’s life. My very practical, mother wore a hair piece everyday in our small farming town. She worked in the office of Armco Steel. She slept on a little roll of a pillow to keep her hair- do as in tact as possible. She glammed up every morning  to work in a STEEL PLANT. She was fabulous. I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Then came the seventies. Feminism hit our nation like a tidal wave. Hairstyles became more relaxed. Women demanded to be seen in business. Divorce rates soared. Single mothers were having to do it for themselves. Women had to begin competing with men, and that competition was a war.

In order to be taken seriously, we had to look more practical. We had to be more manlike. What man can think straight when you have a set of 301’s on your baby blues and a pouty glossy lip? We needed men to think of us as a man and not as anything else.  We became more like men, focusing on the bottom line over the natural instinct based on love that ever woman possesses. Any woman who dared glam up in the business world, we as women, immediately dismiss as dull witted and not to be taken seriously.  Today, we have given our world of over the top glamour to men. Feathers, wigs, lashes, glitter and shine have been handed to men who use it to mock us and blow us out of proportion. These men embrace these fabulosities and add the quick wittedness and spunk of our glamorous foremothers. They blow it up to be examined, but they lack the one important factor that biological women all are bestowed with. The instinct love that gives us the ability to nurture and love unconditionally….our femininity. We lost our feminiity to feminism. Now please don’t get me wrong, I am a strong feminist. I support you sister. I agree with what you are saying. But please, take a moment to get me.

A woman’s power is in her femininity. The ability to be strong and soft at the same time. It’s the love in the heartbeat that is a soundtrack to the beginning of every person on this earth. Our strength is in our softness. Our ability to nurture and kick and ass simultaneously. Our ability to love someone even though they are dragging us through hell. The ability to be drug through hell and still get up and get the laundry done and get to work on time.

Women who love to be women are strong and wise and grow into those women like Betty White, who persevere through all that life has thrown at them and still stand up to the plate with style and grace to face another day.

In work situations, I have seen women turn on other women simply because they wore too much make up, had big or differently colored hair or stylish clothes. They were immediately dismissed as unworthy because they didn’t fit a more conservative paradigm. (PS…there is nothing wrong with girls who choose not to glam up. The point is that we are all groovy in whatever looks we choose.) I can’t say that I have never participated in this behavior. I have been known to bad talk girls who bad mouth the glam girls with a quick ” at least she gives an effort”. Bad Suzy. I’m never doing it again.

This leads me to my second paradigm…. (This is a long assed blog…sorry )

I tell people all the time that we have to love ourselves. It’s easier said than done. But here is one of my big reasonings.

When the Bible tells us that God made man in his own image…..We know that God does not have a body. God or our Creator is a force…and energy.

We know, from science that we are made of energy. Our souls are energy. Our souls do not have a body, as our Creator does not have a body. We are all a part of our Creator’s energy. Our soul is a part of that Divine Energy, that is why we are all connected. It’s our cosmic DNA.

So, when you turn your back on yourself, you turn your back on you Creator.

That can’t be good.

So, I realized this morning…I know I am a slow learner…when we turn our backs on another person, we turn our backs on our Creator.

Uh Oh….I love to read a bitch for filth……uh uh…..crap.  That’s not okay.

Holy Crap…..that is a life changer.

My crossroad arriveth.

So, love yourselves, sweet darlings. Love each other….even though we may chap one another’s behind. And remember to think of a person like the tupperware in your refrigerator. Don’t judge it or throw it out because the container is unmarked and makes your uncomfortable. You won’t know if it’s a treat until you open it….that goes for your relationship with you too.

Fabuste’ – The fabulous in me recognizes the fabulous in you.

Smooch Out!

Being Enough

I was raised in the “heart of it all”. Ohio’s little tagline that I saw on billboards, state fair promotional goodies and barn sides for the whole of my childhood and thirty years into my adulthood. It seemed fairly fitting at the time. People in Ohio are friendly, they are almost always glad to see you. If you need help finding your way or if you are just looking for a friendly face, you better hope you run into an Ohio native. Big eyes and wide smiles and good natures come from the heart of it all. Good people doing good things.
BUT! (don’t you just love a big but?) Read More

Choosing to Choose.

So, lately I have seen some things and been through some things that really made me think. I mean, a lot.

It is true that my mother has not been doing well these last couple of years. We have had more trips to the hospital and nursing home than we have had trips to the mall or any other venue of shopabiltiy. That makes me sad. Tonight, she is resting at home after just being sprung from the nursing/rehab facility on Friday. In phone calls I beg her to remember to eat and drink, which is something that even as I say it, is unbelievable to me. If eating and shopping were sports….I would be a second generation Olympian, to be sure. We would have a wall full of medals and news clippings of sales receipts and stained napkins. We are champions at living. She seems to want to retire. I’m not ready for it. Read More

Thirty One Days of Fabulosity – Day SIX !

Happy Humpday Y’all!
If you take that seriously, I hope y’all got some air conditioning, because it is HOT today! Lord…I was afraid my new toe polish was going to bubble up in the heat.

The heat here in Atlanta is enough to make a girl reach for a regular fully loaded Coca Cola.
But, we aren’t doing that these days, right?
Of course, right.

My fabulosity for today is actually a cool drink. Well, it’s a weird cool drink, but I dig it. It has Chia seeds and juice. I know you are thinking about those commercials from our childhood with the crazy clay heads that sprout hair. Read More

Fabulosity Day 5!

It’s Tu-Tu-Tuesday! It is also day five of my Thirty One Days of Fabulosity!.

Today I want to cut right to the chase. Today there is no lesson or moral to the story. I know, it’s a pearl clutcher for me too. HOWEVER…this is one of the simplest and most handy fabulosities that I do. I only started doing it about a year ago. I can’t believe that I even thought to do this. I mean, most of my really good shit comes from Pinterest or Facebook or Stumble Upon…or basically OTHER PEOPLE. But this one…it is a genuine bonafide cosmetic epiphany, sent straight into my brain by “Fabula, The Patron Saint of the Beauty Supply.”

I love luxury. Don’t judge me. I like the good stuff.
BUT….yes here comes my big but…

I don’t like to pay big prices for stuff that I may hate after a few days.

So, I ask for samples.


I go to Ulta and they give me samples because I am a schmoozer, and I make friends with the sample giver. Rememember, no matter how bitchy he or she can be, the sample giver is gooooood. A good sample is an awesome get in the glamour world.

The bad thing is that they sometimes come in those crazy foil packets.

photo 12
^ Crazy Foil Packet ^

There is usually way more stuff in a crazy foil packet than for just a one time use. You can ride the contents of a foil packet of eye cream for up to a week, if you do it right. That gives you enough time to figure out it if you love it enough to spend the chunk of money that it costs. It’s awesome, except that foil packets are hard to store, keep up with, not squish, keep sanitary…the list goes on. Well, not really on and on, but foil packets are not convenient.

I have a solution. It’s a good one.

photo 11
Contact Cases

You can get them at Walgreens, in a pack of 6 for about 6.99.

They are perfect for emptying the foil packets in to. It almost fills the container and the lid screws back on water and air tight. It is perfection.
photo 15

If you have more than one sample or if you don’t want to forget what kind of cream is in the case, you can totally label it with a sharpie marker on the bottom of the container.
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The cases are easy to pack if you travel. They never give me the fish eye over them at the airport. Please don’t get me started on the airport…

They are really handy for home made lip glosses or any other thing that you really need and must never ever spill. They are completely reusable. I have run my cases through the dishwasher and they came out just fine.

If you need to re-lable with the name of another product, there is no problem.

Just spray some hairspray, or rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball and wipe it clean. It comes off easily with alcohol, but stays on in your purse or make-up drawer.

Ta Da!!!

You can even make some lip balm and put it in there, should you be short on eyelash cases…if that is possible.

Gloss em up, y’all!

Smooch Out!

Day Four of Fabulousity!

Hello Loves!

It’s day four of my Thirty One Days of Fabulosity. But before I get into that, I want to take a moment to tell you all that I had the most delicious facial today. I mean it was wonderful. It was way self indulgent, but what I realized is that self indulgence in the name of taking care of myself is ok. I didn’t indulge in a box of Ho-Ho’s. I didn’t indulge with a Venti Mocha with extra whip. I indulged my senses and let my body completely de-stress. It was truly worth it, and I am beginning to wrap my head around the good things and the bad things that I could be totally okay with swapping. Could I never eat another ho-ho again if I got to have a facial like that every month or so? Yes, I could. My skin looks so much better. I was completely relaxed and the sounds and smells and feelings were rapturous. So, there may be a mindset and budget paradigm shift in my very near future. Giving up the delicious bad for the delicious good? Sounds like a plan I can get behind.

In that taking care of oneself vein….let me move on to my Fabulosity of the day.
It’s actually like a double fabulosity. That means that I read about one and tried it and the other happened accidentally while I was doing the first thing.

I am sure that you all have heard the benefits of coconut oil. I have made sugar scrubs and moisturizers and make-up removers and fried my chicken in it. I have been buying it by the great big container for a couple years. Recently, it has become my new BFF.

A month or so ago, I started having a little problem. I was waking up with crazy headaches. The kind of headaches that were so severe that I had to close one eye and walk with my head resting in my hand just to get to the bathroom in the morning.
I thought I had sleep apnea. I don’t want to wear a mask to bed, so I ignored it, thinking that if it continued for more than a couple of weeks, I would go to the doctor.

Then I traveled out of town, alone. No more headaches.
Nope, not a single one the entire time I was gone. AND there was plenty of stuff going on that should have given me a headache!

First night back home, in my nice soft clean bed, I slept soundly all night. I woke up the next day – BAM! Crazy headache was back with a vengence.
So,I thought about it and realized that only one thing was different. While I was traveling, I didn’t sleep with a fan on all night.
My partner needs the fan. She needs it so much that she cannot even begin to sleep without it.
I mentioned it too her the second night at home. We left the fan off. She couldn’t sleep. I woke up in the morning. No headache. Houston, we have problem.

So, We googled. What we found was that people who had these kinds of headaches had sinus problems, and the fan was drying out the sinus cavity and causing the crazy headache.
The solution?

Put coconut oil up your nose to moisturize your sinus.

I thought it was the grossest thing I had ever heard of.

Guess what? It kinda is. It feels really weird and just not right to scoop a small finger full of coconut oil out of the jar and stick it up your nose. Blech.

But no more headaches. It works.

Invariably when you scoop the glop out of the jar, you scoop too much. So, before I run the stuff up my nose, I smooth a little on my lips. What a difference!!

Within two days, I noticed that my lips looked smoother and fuller. No more dry wrinkly lips. They are soft and smooth. BONUS.

About a week into my routine, I thought I would try to spice it up a little. I made a sweet minty version that reminds me a little of that EOS lip balm.

It is my now a regular part of my evening ritual. I love it.

Here is how I do it.

You will need:
Coconut Oil – I just scoop it out with a plastic spoon into a small glass bowl. I do two spoonfuls so I can make enough to last me for awhile.

Stevia- Not even a half packet. You don’t even really need Stevia, but that little bit of sweetness is nice for me.

Peppermint Oil – Please be sure it is food grade. Just two drops will do. It is strong. You want “minty freshness” not “Exhilarating Minty Minty Mint”.

The Coconut oil gets melty pretty easily, so it’s not difficult to get the three ingredients mixed and emulsified. Stir it up and smooth it on.

I store my excess in an old eyelash case. Mostly because I have a dozen or so of them laying around at any given time.

Like this:

I slather this sweet minty stuff on my lips as the final step to bedtime…I mean right before I put the plain coconut oil up the sniffer.

Oh, I should also mention. I had a fever blister that started to come out on my lip. Two nights of this stuff and it never fully made an appearance. Worth the price of admission, that one. Mmmhmm…is sure is.

Love yourselves in healthy ways!

Smooch Out with your softy soft lips!