Defining Relationships…it’s so easy a five year old can do it.

Gosh…it was so easy on the playground. Friends were the ones that you played with. You got mad at them sometimes, but usually you made up and it was all good. Sometimes you got a little weepy, maybe a little violent…maybe you even ratted them out. It all worked out. Somewhere the dynamics changed. Somehow it became difficult. Here I am all grown the hell up and the relationship thing is making me scratch bald spots in my head ( ok not really bald spots)

I blame sex and money. I do.

Those are the only two things that didn’t matter when I was playing on the playground.I mean those two little topics certainly did complicate things. When I was a child I just  had friends, plain and simple. REGULAR FRIENDS. Now we grow up and bring in sex. Now there is a new category. ROMANTIC FRIEND. Then we go into business and we have BUSINESS FRIENDS. So now things are way complicated. You know that you can’t mix BUSINESS and ROMANCE. So now the confusion begins . We also know that we mixing BUSINESS and REGULAR friends can wreck both categories and we cannot be good at either unless we are clear in communications and love the friendship more than the money. We also know that we cannot have sex with REGULAR FRIENDS unless we are planning on moving them permanently in to the ROMANTIC FRIEND category. It just makes me crazy. There is just a lot to think about. Please don’t think I am going to ramble on about sex and money. I am not. I am in the middle of redefining my parameters on both of them, so I am not ready to share. You may be glad for that. haha  🙂 Let’s get back to the playground, shall we?

Oh, for the days when I could throw a big old fit and kick and scream in the floor  or just reach out in the middle of a game and hug some one’s neck and kiss their heads in the sheer big love of that moment. I could do those things now, I suppose, but I would most likelyhave to deal with security. Security these days will do more than pull you up by your arm and take you to the bathroom until you settle down. You will land in the pokey or the hospital…or tazed. Jesus, you could so end up tazed. Who needs that? I have seen it on the You Tube…and I can tell your for sure that I do not need a tazing …EV-ER.

Dealing with other people just got so complicated in the grown up world. I saw a little boy at the grocery store the other day, he and his mother were in heated negotiations regarding how he was going to get through the building. There he was, red-faced mouth wide open screaming -‘ I DON”T WANT TO RIDE IN THE CAAARRT, I DON’T LIIIIIIKE IIIIIT! ‘ No mistaking intention there. No one within earshot misunderstood what that child was communicating. He stated it clearly and no one was surprised at the result of his being lifted up by his mother and placed in the cart. He screamed louder, and he got stiff.

So I have been thinking today. I have been thinking about communication and the style in which it gets delivered. I have a terrible habit. Often times I hesitate or flat don’t say what is really going on inside my head. Why? Because I want to be polite? Maybe. Because I want people to be confused? Never. Because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. ALWAYS. Does this communication style serve me well? Hell, no.

I tell people to come from love in their communication. Love for the other person and love for themselves. It’s what I am guided to tell folks, and when  get that tickle…I tell them. I don’t always practice what I preach.

So, in loving whomever I am talking to about whatever I am talking about, I must remain in love toward myself. Love for me includes honesty, clarity, caution, respect and expressing my needs….all with skill….all with heart. ( yeah I stole that skill and heart thing from a training thing I went to for my old J-O-B) I know that this is not going to be easy. I do think it will be beneficial to all that I love and those who love me back.

So, I am going to let my inner 5 year old have some say so. I am going to allow her to say her wants and needs, her likes and dislikes and when she gets hurt, I am going let her say so….with a giant filter. Remember I don’t want to get tazed. I hear it makes you pee your pants. Good God I don’t need that either.

Smooch Out Precious People and a hug around the neck.

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2 Comments on “Defining Relationships…it’s so easy a five year old can do it.

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