Ho Ho Ho in some Stretchy Pants today!
Happy Holidays Everyone! I mean that, I really do. I hope everyone who reads this blog will have a warm, wonderful, twinkly, sparkly, glittery, tasty, tape ripping time this year. I am going to try to do the same.
My last blog was a little depressing….ok….growth is painful I KNOW…but let’s have a little fun today.
I feel so perky, mostly cause I am feeling pretty happy with myself over my TWO days in a row on the treadmill. Feelin myself and hoping surly Suzy won’t step in tomorrow and kick happy perky Suzy out. Fingers crossed girls!!
Anyway, the Ho Ho HOLidays are upon us and if you aren’t ready for it and are already stressing and starting to get overwhelmed….I want to help.
I love making lists. So, I thought I would make one for us that could help us BEGIN to get ready for the craziness of the most wonderful time of the yeeaar.
Now these are just some starting points that I find helpful. Please feel free to add or subtract in any manner you see fit. It’s your party baby.
1. Go to Target or Wal Mart or wherever you love to go…and buy a cheap pair of cookie pants. You are gonna eat the cookies…just buy the pants. What are cookie pants? Well….cookie pants are any variety of pant that has no zippers buttons or snaps. ELASTIC is KEY. Yoga pants, sweat pants, maybe a nice ponte knit for parties…you know SCHTRETCHY PEEYANTS! Don’t fight it. You know you are gonna eat extra, you can’t really be held accountable. You can however, be comfortable. Judge me now, thank me later. You’re welcome.
2. Start moving a little more than usual – I have started a stretching routine and I am getting on the treadmill. I promised myself that I will do this three or four times per week. That should counter any cookie damage. I may not lose weight over the time of this season, but at least I won’t be doing so much damage. …and I can so wear my stretchy pants!
3. Buy socks. You can totally do it when you buy your cookie pants. Feet get cold. If you haven’t had socks on since this time last year, get some new ones. Those old socks are as tired as you are. New socks lessen the sting of winter just because you got something new.
4. Put lotion on everything….all the time. Put lip lotion on. Put foot lotion on. Put body lotion on. It’s all getting dryer by the minute in the furnace air. Grease yourself up. Your stretchy pants and socks will hold all that moisture in and make you a soft pale goddess.
5. Tell yourself that it is okay to be pale. Start looking at pictures of Meryl Streep and Isabella Rossellini. Start telling yourself that pale is sophisticated and classy. Buy red lipstick and black turtle neck and a leopard print scarf. Ok….old Hollywood is way more Holiday.
6. Make a list of what you want for Christmas. Don’t think of anyone but you. Get it all out of your system. That way when you go shopping for everyone else, you won’t be surprised by all the things you find for yourself. You already made that list!
7. Make a JibJab.com funny video with you and your favorite people. It will put a little jingle in your step and a giggle in your speech. That is some holiday alignment to be sure
8. Watch new Christmas movies on Lifetime. They are corny and badly executed, but there are some magic makers in the set and prop departments! They are like Halloweentown for Christmas. Well, without Debbie Reynolds.
9. Get a box of Christmas cards and send them out. Keep the postal service in business. Write a wisecrack inside. Spread the love. Make a joke. Let someone know that they are on more than one of your lists.
10. Make alternate lyrics to Christmas songs. For instance, it has always been my thing during “Holly Jolly Christmas” when Burl Ives sings…”kiss her once for me”, I say instead, “kiss her butt for me”. I did this the weekend before Thanksgiving while shopping at Sears with my daughter. Even after 23 years, she still busted out laughing so hard that people turned around and stared at us. That shit never gets old. I have more…but they aren’t as shareable. 😉
11. Last one. Love yourself. Don’t agree to it if is going to make you unhappy. Don’t say yes unless you have the time and the money and your house is already clean. Don’t overextend yourself in any way….except to hug someone else in their stretchy pants. Oh…and don’t give a crap about what other people think you should be doing for the holiday. Let them concentrate on their own version of happy, you concentrate on your own. If that means stretchy pants and a crazy holiday sweater and a mouthful of cheeseball, then ride it till the wheels fall off and have the happiest of holidays in a love filled relax-a-thon. Remember it’s really a love fest, not a stress fest. Eat Drink and be Merry or Mary or Murray or whatever version of that fits you best.
So, I hoped this list helped a little. If you need any help with extra listy things…just let me know. I’ll be sitting right here in my cookie pants and comfy socks putting glitter on something.
Love you meeces to pieces!