ok…yes, I know that I haven’t even logged on to say Happy New Year yet. (it’s already been one of those years) So, let me start this thing out by wishing a happy, prosperous, wonder filled,sensual, playful, worry free, big loving, hot monkey playing and all around cosmically fabulous 2012 for you and everyone else around you. Because we all know if the folks around you are suffering, chances are you are gonna suffer by proxy, even if you are in your joy…and that just stinks…on ice.
So far, this year has been a year of tying up loose ends and moving forward toward whatever this Universe has in store for me. I have been big busy and the Universe seems to have some big travel plans in store …and that is okay by me. I love to see the different parts of this nation that I have loved so dearly and meet the groovy folk from where ever I go. Really, there is no better way to measure your bliss other than traveling through a new perspective and meeting new paradigms. I am looking forward to the earthly and spiritual connections this year…I am also looking forward to the laughter and cocktails that will be shared by all. Big Fun combined with Big Enlightenment is always a winner in this old girls book.
I figure those loose ends have got to be tied up. The tying is long over due. I learned a really hard lesson in 2010, but it remains true and it applies to so many situations….To get what you want, you have to let go of what you’ve had. Hard hard hard…but true true true.
I will tell you that I had a serious melt down on New Year’s Day. Really…it was of large proportions, y’all….really large. It started out as any regular day. I got up before Sondra and headed down the stairs to make a pot of coffee. As I sat there drinking my little cup of heaven with a small stack of oreo cookies, I watched some television. There was a documentary of a man who weighed 1000 lbs. I wanted to turn the channel, but something inside of me wouldn’t do it.Now I will tell you that I have seen soooo many of these kinds of shows and they have not effected’ me in any sort of way, other than a evoking several “bless her hearts” of “good Lord’s” But as I dunked and watched there came a moment that hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized then why I hadn’t been able turn the channel. The doctor that was treating this man came on to tell about the things that have triggered this man to eat. They tracked it back to the moment that this man began to get heavy.
He was filling a void. He was hanging on to an emptiness that he had way back then. He was hanging on it and trying to repair it with the food that he was eating. I resonated with me like crazy.
During energy healing sessions, I will guide clients through their own energy system. I have them look for dark spots or different feelings. I have them put eyes on the spots so that we can talk to them…the spots tell us where they came from and why they are there. Together the client and I will work that energy and begin to move the negative energy from the person. I will then channel positive energy into the empty place. I use sound and vibration to assist in this cleansing. It is often powerful, and many cleansing tears are shed during these sessions.
In essence, we are getting down to the past that they are holding on to. The thing that they have had that keeps them from getting what they want. Eureka.!!
So, I went into a meditation…and started going back back back….looking at all of my energy systems…and realized that many of my issues with food, and love and relationships go back to times that I can’t even remember. I cleared out, as best as I could, those places….and I cried…and cried. I went to bed for four hours. And when I awoke…..I was AWAKE.
So, here I am, almost a month later. Sondra and I have joined Weight Watchers. I had a inner child temper tantrum before we did it, but I let that out, and moved on. Sondra always says that she envies the child that throws a fit in the middle of a store. That child is expressing it ALL…not holding back and letting it all free. We lose the ability to do that as we get older, and really, for all the right reasons, but releasing all that sure is freeing. I let myself do it and do it up right, and it worked. I am calm and content in the plan and we are making better and healthier choices. We understand that there will be times when we can splurge, but most days I am making better choices because I love myself without condition and without question and without exception. I am happy in it.
Yesterday, we took the puppy to a nature preserve and did a little bit of a hike. It was beautiful and relaxing and I felt more grounded and content than I have in some time. Connecting with the earth, my partner and my little dog too. 🙂 …and that’s what I want.
So I am gonna try to let you know how the weight loss goes…and for sure you will see some amazing pictures of where we go and what we do. Don’t judge me if I have a cocktail in my hand. They are only 5 points 🙂
So as I close, I ask you in this year of completion….what are you holding on to that keeps you from getting what you want? Clean out your closets and drawers….make way for the good stuff.
Love y’all like new boots!
Smooch Out!
Love Yourself Through It! 
Thank you for your eloquent honesty. I am on a similar journey. I have a lot of “stuff” I am sorting through in my life. Do I still need “it”? Have I used “it” in a year?! Does “it” serve my highest good? Why don’t I get what I think I need? Do I need “it” or just want it? There are days when I think WTF am I doing… days I feel just stuck. Not every day, but those days are tough. Little by little, day by day I see the light. My goals as they are written today; Let go of fear, love myself unconditionally, be present and feel peace.
Thanks for reminding me to make way for the good stuff!